In this issue:
What's New:
Lightworks for Well Being has an official identity. The spiral represents our own spiral of development as human beings. As we grow emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, our energy expands and so does our ability to attract well-being into our life. The feather has a very special meaning as feathers are often associated with the wind, the mind, and new flights. They are also associated with reflection of new changes and new leaps of consciousness about to unfold. The color yellow represents the light that is within each of us that fuels our growth and our passions. And finally the color purple is connected with faith, creativity, awareness, inspiration, passion, and imagination. We hope you like our new logo. We love it!
We have found the perfect location for our week-end retreat this fall. Check details below.
Coming VERY soon. The web site for Lightworks for Well Being will be launched very soon. We will send a special broadcast as soon as it goes "live".
Quote of the month:
Knowing is the enemy of seeing new things
-- Marnie Walker
Current Events:
Women's Circle:
Come and join us and invite your friends to our ongoing monthly women's circle held the third Tuesday of every month . Take the opportunity to learn, listen, share and laugh. The evening focuses on women's challenges, strategies and energizing exercises to promote happiness and well-being.
The Women 's circle is taking a short summer break and will resume in September. Be ready for a season of creation as we embark on a series about creating well-being in our life. Check our next newsletter for the date.
Women's Retreat:
“Be Inspired to Re-Create Yourself “Retreat for Women
A weekend just for you: to relax, rejuvenate and energize yourself.
A weekend of self-discovery, to spark your creative impulse, to move forward in your life towards well-being on all levels.
A weekend to create possibilities, imagination, insights and a focused plan of action
with Anne Bourke and Elizabeth Skronski
Anne, a psychotherapist, counsellor and spiritual teacher and Elizabeth, an executive and personal coach and spiritual mentor
combine their years of learning and experience to present a profoundly empowering and inspiring group experience.
What Makes the Group Experience Empowering?
Participating with a group of women gathered to connect and share the common purpose of examining choices to expand feelings of fulfillment and well-being, promotes a strong energy. This encourages you to access deep insights, feelings, and a sense of who you really are and what you need to live your life in a heart-centred, healthy state of well-being.
The power of this positive energy can be life changing, giving you the vision and purpose to strive for a meaningful life and make each day a celebration of living!
The group experience provides a variety of approaches and activities: meditation, guided visualization, breath work, written exercises, drawing, creative dance, experiential exercises, small group creative challenges and circle discussion
What are the Benefits?
- Revitalize yourself
- Reconnect with your authentic self
- Explore your strengths and needs
- Overcome personal obstacles
- Strategies for empowered thinking
- Find an inner peace
- Create your personal plan for well-being
- Enjoy being playful and joyous
Date: November 4 to 6 , 2005
Cost: $499.00 per person, minimum 3 people per room.; double occupancy: $ 559.00 per person; single occupancy: $ 639.00 per person. All fee are subject to GST.
Please call 905-821-4361 or 905-785-6383 or email: elizabeth@lightworksforwellbeing.com for more information or to register.
Facilitators: Anne Bourke and Elizabeth Skronski
Self-Development Course
A 4 week group interactive course that provides self-awareness and understanding of your anger style, the purpose of your anger, naming your stressors and practicing constructive strategies to make changes at all levels: mentally, physiologically and emotionally.
Dates: Mondays- Oct. 17, 24, Nov. 7, 14
Mondays- Nov. 21, 28, Dec. 5, 12
Time: 7:30 – 9:30 pm
Location: 190 Robert Speck Parkway, Mississauga
Cost: *Early Registration, by Sept 16/05, $399.00
Registration after Sept. 16, $450.00
Please call 905-785-6383 for further information.
Facilitator: Anne Bourke
Article of the month
The Causes of Our Discontent
By Wendy Saxe M.A.
Why Do Couples Seek Counselling?
There are several common themes that I, as a therapist, hear when couples call for an appointment. Probably the most prevalent one is “ I have lost my feelings for my spouse”. Most often only one person feels this way and the other is unaware of this change in her partner. Sometimes she has a sense that something is wrong but doesn't know how to change it and unconsciously decides to ignore the signs of problems. As the problem continues the discontent festers and becomes much greater than if it had been addressed when one of the individuals first became aware of it. Often one or both think, “ It will just go away if I ignore it.” And they convince themselves, temporarily, that ‘it's not so bad'. But under stress the feelings about the value of the relationship re-surface and it is often at this time, when it is most difficult to think and act rationally, that one person will reveal how he has been feeling. The person who is unaware or who has not wanted to acknowledge that there's a problem will feel that her spouse's desire to separate has come ‘out of the blue'. She feels that she has been blind-sided and that she has not been given an opportunity to make the situation better. In fact, that feeling is justified as neither person has made an attempt to communicate their distress in advance of this major confrontation. A heart-to-heart talk about feelings may have allowed them to begin to put the relationship back on a more firm ground and, at the very least, would have allowed both people to have some idea of what was brewing.
Another frequent precursor of a call to me is that one person has discovered that his spouse has become involved emotionally and/or physically with another person. The betrayed individual has become aware of the ‘other person' and has confronted his spouse. They have decided that the thing to do is to go for counselling. It is very difficult to accept that most often the reason that the betrayal has occurred has to do with dissatisfaction within the relationship. We, as humans, are looking for emotional commitment and connection. That can be lacking through inattention to the other, a tendency to take the other person for granted and/or to neglect the things that we did without thinking when we were first getting to know each other (i.e., listening with interest to what the other said, being positively affirming of the other, wanting/trying to please the other, to name a few things that are traditional in courtship). When connection is missing and is available (at least temporarily) through another person, then the situation is ripe for a liaison to be created.
A third motivator for many is unhappiness with the split of the work in the household. This discontent often occurs after the birth of the first child and adds stress to an already difficult time associated with the adjustments that have to be made. Sometimes one person, often the one who is most responsible for daily household chores, takes it upon herself to tally up how much household work each has contributed and then she becomes determined to even the score. That's a guaranteed way to create a partner who either directly or indirectly says “no” and the hostility is increased.
Trouble with in-laws can play a part in disrupting couple serenity. In-laws may be interfering or one partner may be seen to be more intent on satisfying parental wants than in paying attention to his/her spouse. The spouse who is being ignored may be experienced as self-interested, unwilling to ‘give' at all and just generally uncooperative.
Occasionally, it seems that the precipitating difficulty is disagreement over parenting. We bring to our committed relationships an understanding of how children should be treated based upon our own experience in our family of origin. Not surprisingly these expectations often differ, just as our home life experience differed. Out of this disagreement our dissatisfaction with other aspects of the relationship may grow.
What Do Couples Need?
They need to re-discover the person that they committed to in the positive manner that they had when they started out. Surprising to most people is the fact that the person that they most need to re-connect with is the person that they, themselves, used to be, when they first knew the spouse. When that person disappeared and returned in the guise of a demanding, critical spouse their partner also lost him/herself. And the positive dynamics between them changed to the negative ones that are now causing the difficulties.
Further they need to establish what each person's goal is with respect to the relationship and to know if they are headed in the same direction. They need to know what the other is searching for/ or has given up on getting, whether through having an affair or having lost ‘that' feeling for the other.
Our expectations of our new family are often based on what we experienced as a child. Part of what we must do in our new family is to decide what aspects of the past are valuable to maintain and what parts we prefer to leave behind.
If both people have the same goal, to re-vitalize their relationship and make it a stronger entity that will withstand the turmoil of contemporary life, then there is much hope that the goal can be achieved. It does require a determination to be open to trying a new way of being with each other and accepting each other even with our flaws.
A successful relationship isn't finding the right person
It's being the right person.
Question of the Month:
How do I communicate with others? Do I try to change them or do I accept them?
Recommended Book:
Creative Visualization from Shakti Gawain. This book was recommended in a previous newsletter. We recommend it again to get started on our series on creating our well-being.
Upcoming Events:
Women's Retreats
A w eek-end intensive that provides a natural setting and personal discovery experiences to increase self-esteem, energy, self-nurturing and connection to other women who share similar challenges.
Please call 905-821-4361 or 905-785-6383 for information. Facilitators: Anne Bourke and Elizabeth Skronski
Relationship Renewal
A 4-week course for couples that benefits the relationship by providing:
- Experiential exercises that promote personal and couple awareness of beliefs and values
- Informative presentations to guide couples toward realistic expectations and goals
- Weekly instruction and practice of constructive communication skills to enhance understanding & intimacy
Please call for 905-785-6383 further information on course dates, location, cost, to request a brochure and to register.
Facilitators: Anne Bourke and Wendy Saxe
Anger Management Course
A 4 week group interactive course that provides self-awareness and understanding of your anger style, the purpose of your anger, naming your stressors and practicing constructive strategies to make changes at all levels: mentally, physiologically and emotionally.
Please call 905-785-6383 for further information. Facilitator: Anne Bourke
Have a wonderful month of April and Enjoy the beginning of Spring!
Namaste
Lightworks for Well Being is proud supporter of
Swim of Hope To raise $100,000 For The Gatehouse® child abuse advocacy centre
Visit www.swimofhope.ca |
