I don't think I would be saying anything new if I told you that humans are very complex beings. If I was conducting a survey and asking people what they want the most in life, I'd bet that two things would make the top three: Health and Happiness. Yet, when you think about it, most of us do EVERYTHING in our power not to manifest these two basic desires.
The realization that people sabotage their happiness came to me while I was listening to a CD called "The Ten Bridges" by Marianne Williamson. In her presentation, Marianne talks about our resistance to Joy. I vividly remember my reaction when I heard her talk about that concept. It's almost as if she had been describing me.
We all know the effect of our emotions on our health. Since my heart attack that I wrote about in our last newsletter, manifesting happiness and joy in my life has become priority number one. One of my intentions for 2009 is to actually only do things that bring me joy or that I can do with joy. So even when I pay my bills, I find a way to do it joyfully, grateful that I have the money to pay them.
When I heard the segment about resisting joy, I pondered how much I was actually living my intentions. To my surprise and disappointment, I realized that half the time I was going through life without even being conscious of how I felt, almost like being on auto-pilot. I also realized that I was probably more aware when I was not joyful and happy versus when I experienced true joy. Why is it that what we want the most we sabotage the most?
In his recent lecture on Consciousness in Toronto on April 27th (yes, I was one of the lucky ones who attended) Deepak Chopra describes the happiness formula as 40% coming from our brain being programmed - what he calls the brain set point - , 10% from our conditions of living and 50% as daily choices.
The brain set point is set by our culture, our parents, our own internal beliefs. It can be changed by regular meditation and by questioning our liming beliefs. A great question to ask yourself is "Who would I be without this belief?"
Our conditions of living, whether we live in a big house or a small one, whether we have lots of money or not contribute to less than 10% . So if you are hoping that winning the lottery will resolve your issue of unhappiness, you may want to question that belief!
Within ourselves resides what Deepak Chopra calls the "choice maker". That choice maker has the power to choose whether we want to be happy or not, whether we are attached to the dramas on our lives or whether we choose to let go of them and be in joy. And your happiness depends on at least 50% of the choices made by this choice maker, in other words, you when you are conscious.
When we are unconscious, like a robot, it is much easier to be dragged in the dramas of our life, to feel victimized, to stay in the "I feel hurt" emotion. This deep feeling of" poor me", of anger, of having been wronged is like a drug to our ego. The more we feel it, the more we hope someone will make us feel better, will pity us, and will make us feel loved by agreeing with us that we've been wronged somehow.
According to Deepak Chopra, human beings use memory and imagination to create unhappiness. For instance, we've all had arguments with someone. How many of us are able to objectively look at the situation, assess our role in the argument and take responsibility, learn from the situation and move on? I'd bet very little of us. We actually feel more powerful by going over and over in our mind what we could have said. Yet, all we do by rehashing the argument in our mind is creating more suffering for ourselves.
Realizing that we do have a choice does not make it easier, I will agree, but see it as a detox program for your ego. As you become more aware about how you feel and you make conscious choices of how you want to feel, i.e. happiness instead of suffering, the less dependent you are on that drug that feeds your ego.
Here are a few tips to help you increase your Happiness and live more consciously:
Meditate, even if it is for 5 minutes in the morning. Many people shy away from meditation thinking in order for it to work you have to sit in a lotus position for hours on end. Being in silence at the beginning of your day helps you ground yourself and stay centered throughout the day.
Breathe. Take deep breaths. Feel them expanding your belly. Slowly release the air on your exhale. Be aware and conscious of your breathing. This is a meditation in itself.Help someone, make someone smile, do something for someone just because ....
Say: I choose to be happy as many times as necessary. Say it even more often when you can feel your ego reaching for the drug of dramas.
As for me, I'm back on the wagon. I choose to live my intentions consciously and I'll be on the lookout for my ego!
Copyright Ligthworks for Well Being 2008
