Compassion - The Forgotten Word

 

When you hear the word compassion, what comes to your mind? Pictures of victims of earthquakes may come to mind, or the sad story of someone who lost all their belongings to fire. In fact, the dictionary defines compassion as "a deep awareness of the suffering of another". Unfortunately for many of us, our lives have become so busy that we have forgotten what compassion is about. Sure, for a short moment, while watching the news, we may feel the pang of compassion but it is quickly replaced by the worries of our lives. Our world has become smaller yet we may feel detached by all the "sad news" around the world and this is contributing to de-sensitizing us. Another reason is that compassion may remind us of heavy responsibility. After all, if we show compassion, shouldn't we do something to help?

 

For some reason the word Compassion really resonates with me and people who know me will say that it's my "word". Although I see myself as a compassionate person, I know that at times I suffer from the same "busyness" and the same dreaded feeling of obligation. Yet, I know that despite our busy lives and all our other obligations, we can regain this sense of compassion, and that in itself contributes to our well being.

 

There was a time in my life when I had totally forgotten what compassion is. I was working an incredible number of hours in the pursuit of so-called "Success" until one day, I just walked away from my job, disillusioned and I'm sure a bit burned out. After the usual feelings of guilt for walking away from "Success", I started to feel better and I realized that I had allowed myself to feel compassion for myself. I had re-acquainted myself with the TRUE meaning of compassion. For me, compassion not only encompasses the traditional definition of being deeply aware of another's suffering, it also includes being aware of our own suffering and being kind to ourselves. When we work  hours beyond reason, when we let our values be trampled all over, when what's important to us no  longer holds first place, we are turning our heads, our hearts and our spirits away from self-compassion and by the same token, compassion for others. How can we truly feel compassion for someone else's suffering when  we feel tired, stressed, guilty for not meeting all the so-called obligations we take as our own.

 

Self-compassion does not mean self-centeredness. When we feel compassion for ourselves, we feel an amazing sense of gratitude for our life. We feel an inspiring and embracing feeling of self-love for all that we are. We transcend the needs of our ego and we respond to the calling of our Spirit.

 

I was speaking to a group of women the other day on Time Management and during dinner we held the usual table conversations. One of my dinner companion, a financial planner, had a passion for teaching kids financial well-being. Unfortunately, her current hours did not permit her to fully embrace her passion and so her passion to bring well-being to children, who eventually will grow to be adults, had to be put aside.

 

Allowing ourselves to follow our "dreams", our "passions" is, in my opinion, a form of compassion. And when we do allow ourselves some "ME" time, we are in a much better position to show compassion to others.

 

Take a good look at the obligations you have. Are they all truly serving you, one way or another? Do you approach these obligations with a sense of willing responsibility or with a sense of dread? If you approach them with a sense of dread, examine the underlying cause. May be you feel burned out at work and dread Monday mornings. Does this mean that you must change jobs?  May be what you need is to give yourself permission to have a few week-ends off or leave work at a more decent time.

 

There is an old proverb that goes like this: The shoemakers' children always go without shoes. We may think that always putting others first is the right thing to do. And in many cases it is. But when you constantly put others first, you may need to examine your reasons for it.

 

A little self-compassion goes a long way in contributing to our well-being and that really goes a long way in truly embracing Compassion for others.